Living in a world of nude singing stars and frank radio chats on sexual topics, we still may find ourselves ashamed when hearing about oral sex. Being an indispensible part of healthy sexual relationships between partners, it is still this way or another rejected by many couples. But what makes oral sex so shameful and so fascinating at the same time?
Let’s get a closer look at this phenomenon.
Oral sex is stimulation of genital organs with you tongue, lips, throat and teeth. It can be accompanied by hands (fellatio). Whereas often a prelude for classic sex, it’s also a separate kind of sex.
That was a definition, a dry piece of theory. But what about practice?
In practice, oral sex is good. Why? Well, it’s pretty obvious. It’s all about pleasure – both mental and physical – as well as about roles. We all play roles and playing roles is pleasure, too.
Okay, both women and men love it; it’s not a secret anymore. However, what should it be like, a perfect oral sex?
When should I do it?
As we have already mentioned, oral sex can be both a part of a traditional sexual transaction and a separate event. It’s equally pleasant and important in both cases, but still there is a slight functional difference between the two. First of all, as a separate event oral sex can be a convenient choice when you lack comfortable conditions for a usual sex, such as space, time, means of contraception, or any other necessary conditions. The main advantage of this kind of sex is that you can’t get pregnant in this event. Speaking about pleasure, it’s almost as big – and sometimes can even be bigger – as in the case with classic sex.
As a prelude, oral sex is a powerful drive for a good, healthy sex. This is true especially about women, for it can greatly improve her chances to have an orgasm in the end. You should pay a great attention to prepare your female partner for a sex, and cunnilingus will greatly help you.
You may say, “Okay, that’s great. But what should I exactly do to succeed in oral sex?”
We’ll try to answer some of your questions below.
How should I do it?
Naturally, with your tongue and lips. But also with pleasure, desire and patience.
Pleasure. Pleasure is not only the thing experienced by the person who is given a blow job, but also by a person who gives it. It’s an indispensible part of your success – you should catch a buzz. If you don’t, don’t give a blow job at all. After all, it should be a blow job, not a shaddy job.
Technique, which is the combination of “how fast”, “how quick” and “how strong”. This is the case when the stronger and the faster isn’t the better. When we watch some bad porno movies, it seems that the message they are trying to send to the viewer is “kill it”. They do it violently, they do it aggressively, they do it loathsomely. Professionals do it unprofessionally.
Don’t pull, don’t squeeze too hard. It’s true for both women and men. Don’t think that the deeper and the stronger you push your tongue into her vagina, the higher it will take her. Start carefully; watch your partner’s reactions. If he or she needs more violence, he/she will let you know. If you are giving a blow job to a man, remember about the frenulum. It is situated at the “bottom” part of a penis, right where the glans merges into the shaft. That is the place you can easily stimulate with your tongue, if you face the man (you can kneel or lie on top of him or position yourself however you wish). If it’s a “69”, it will be much more difficult for you to use your tongue to stimulate the frenulum. You can use your fingers instead. Start moving slowly, and then speed up. Don’t press too hard. Use your saliva as a lubricant.
Is it the only area you should concentrate at? Of course not. Other parts that need your careful attention are the glans and the balls. Whereas the former yould stay in your mouth as long as you can afford it, we don’t recommend to “swallow” the latter – not all man like that and some of them actually find it very unpleasant. While working with your tongue on the frenulum, the glans and the shaft, you can use your hand to stimulate the balls (make your moves tender, don’t make your man believe that you want to smash his balls!).
If you give a blow job to a woman, pay close attention to her clitoris, but don’t (never!) get stuck on it. Start with the tip of your tongue moving slowly down her vulvar lips while they are still closed, and then proceed with your tongue and finger into her when they are opened. In most cases with women, the secret G-spot is situated just below the clitoris and a little bit deeper in her vagina (not deeper than 2-3 centimeters).
Open your lips. To give a great blow job, you should open your lips. Think of them as of an air pillow. They should be soft and as broad as you can afford it. Moving up and down with tight dry lips closed on the shaft is no good at all. And to open your lips you need to tune into the beat of passion and desire. You should love, really love what you do!
Remember also that when we say “suck”, we don’t necessarily mean that you should literally suck the organ. However, sucking movements of your mouth and throat will really make you partner come. Apart from sucking, you can and should use your lips to stroke the glans and the frenulum, and your toung to lick them. You can go down the shaft with your tongue (and even further – to the anal ring, though not everyone likes that). Be creative, and act with care.
If it’s a cunnilingus and you really want to make your female partner come, you can also suck a little bit. But be careful: you may cause undesired pain and that will bring all your previous efforts to naught.
As long as it needs to make your partner come. In average, a blow job can take you 10-15 minutes if you give it to a man and a little bit longer if you give it to a woman. The amount of time depends on a variety of personal factors, such as the age of a particular person, the condition of his/her health, his/her desire, the amount of time without sex, etc. This way or another, you shouldn’t count minutes in oral sex – you should enjoy.
This question, as well as the next one, is more relevant in the case with men rather than women. How deep should I take the penis in? Well, as deep as you can. At least, it impresses. It’s not about physical pleasure, but about a visual one. It drives men mad when they see how their cocks sink deep in your throat.
Now, you may ask, “What if I vomit?” Our answer will be, “You won’t if you do it with pleasure”. The only thing you need is a proper disposition and hygiene. Don’t force yourself. Sex should be a pleasure.
To take it in easier, try to open your throat as wide as you can. Follow your mouth with your hand. Move in a convenient tempo. Make poses in which you can breathe and work not with your mouth and throat, but with your tongue and hands.
Should I swallow?
Yes and no. Again, you will impress. Everyone really wants (yes, it’s true!) a woman to swallow, even if he never tells you about this secret desire. Think of it. The truth is that sperm is not that awful as you perhaps used to think. Try it – you may even like it (yes, I’m serious). Besides, it’s good for your health, as it contains a lot of nutrients, such as citric acid, fructose, potassium, and zinc among the others.
There are a lot of “what-ifs”. What if I vomit? What if he comes when I’m not ready to that? What I won’t be able to make him/her come? You will. Actually, anything you’ll do will be at least very pleasant. Be creative, use your imagination, listen to your partner and be honest. If you do, you’ll have a wonderful oral experience neither you nor your partner will be able to forget.